Valentine's Lament
by Warmill
Summary: After a series of adventures, Faye returns to the Bebop. However, with the unenthusiastic welcome back she receives, she begins to wonder why she even came back in the first place.


Faye Valentine followed the smell of cigarette smoke and cooked noodles to try and locate where the rest of the crew of the Bebop was hanging out. She found them all lounging, of course, in the ship's lounge. She walked on in.

"Well, well, well, look what the sea rats dragged in!" Spike Spiegel said, as he kicked back on the couch and lit up his twelfth cigarette of the day.

"Faye-Faye's back!" Edward cried out, as she hung upside down from the overhead rafters.

"Faye!" Jet Black yelled, as he poked his head out from the kitchen, "where in the hell have you been? You've been gone for almost a month!"

Ein just yawned.

"Well, its so nice to see all of you again, too!" Faye replied sarcastically, as she reached down and stole one of Spike's cigarettes from his pack on the table, "Jeesh! I wasn't going to hang around for four weeks while the Bebop was in dry dock getting repaired and upgraded! You know I get bored staying in one place for too long. Besides, I've been out working. Which, as I look around, is more than I can say for the present company I'm in."

"Yeah, you've been out working alright," Spike remarked, "out working the poker tables."

"Or the horse races!" Jet added, laughing.

"Maybe Faye-Faye's got a boyfriend!" Edward said, as she began swinging like a pendulum from those rafters.

"Oh, yeah," Faye replied cynically, a puff of cigarette smoke coming from her mouth, "just what I now need in my life, a boyfriend."

"Maybe that's what you do need, Faye," Jet remarked, "a man in your life to give you some direction. Tell you what to do!"

"Oh! Please!" Faye angrily replied, "gimme the number to male chauvinist pigs anonymous and emergency medical!"

"Why do you need the emergency medical number for?" Jet asked.

"Its for you, Jet, after I kick your ass!" Faye yelled.

"Well, don't kick his ass, yet," Spike said, "at least not until he's finished cooking our dinner."

"Speaking of dinner!" Jet replied, quickly ducking back into the kitchen to check on the noodles and to stay away, for now, from Faye.

"So, what have you been up to during the last few weeks, Faye?" Spike asked, as he lit up his thirteenth cigarette.

"Well, if you must know," Faye answered, as she sat down on the far side of the couch, "I nabbed three bounties, while sitting in a bar, dancing at a strip club, and almost getting married!"

"What?" Spike replied, quickly sitting up.

"Huh?" Jet said, poking his head back out of the kitchen, "you got married?"

"I knew Faye-Faye had a boy-boy-friend-friend!" Edward said, swinging down off the rafters and landing feet first on a chair.

Ein just yawned.

"Well, technically," Faye replied, "the wedding wasn't official because, as the ceremony was concluding, I nabbed the best man for an outstanding warrant!"

"Who cares about that!" Spike said, "tell us about you dancing at that strip club! What type of costume did you wear? Or did you even wear a costume at all?"

"Oh, go take a cold shower, pervert boy!" Faye replied, rolling her eyes,

"I just worked there long enough to corner some sleaze head who was a frequent customer."

"How did you nab the guy at the bar?" Jet asked, bringing out a large bowl of steaming noodles.

Ein sniffed the air and made a dash for the noodles.

"Oh," Faye explained, "I was actually waiting to grab a bigger fish, but that one didn't bite, so I had to settle for a smaller fry, who took a liking to me."

"I bet he did!" Spike said, "how much of a liking?"

"A gentleman never asks," Faye coyly replied, "and a lady never answers."

"Well, I don't see any ladies here," Spike mischievously grinned.

"So you can answer, Faye," Jet laughed, as he served the noodles.

"Ha! Ha!" Faye mockingly replied, "you guys are so funny. You should go on the road as a comedy team. You both look funny anyway."

"I say Faye-Faye got laid-laid!" Edward blurted out!

"Edward!" Faye said, shockingly.

"Touché, Edward!" Spike laughed.

"Well, if you did nab three bounties," Jet said, "then how many Woulans did you make? And may I remind you, your rent is overdue."

"My rent?" Faye replied with surprise, "since when are you charging me rent?"

"Ever since the Bebop needed repairs," Jet answered.

"Oh, great!" Faye remarked, "well, just put it on my tab."

"Your tab?" Jet replied, "your tab is adding up pretty fast around here, Faye!"

"Yeah, well, I need some more time," Faye said.

"Time?" Spike said, "time for what?"

"What she means, Spike," Jet interrupted, is that our Faye doesn't have the Woulans to pay. Right, Faye?"

"Well, what about Spike?" Faye replied, "you charging him rent?"

"He sticks around to help me round up bounties," Jet answered, "he doesn't go running off on a whim for weeks at a time, like you do!"

"Spike doesn't go running off on a whim?" Faye incredulously asked, "just say the name, "Julia", and see what he does!"

"Hey!" Spike said, munching some noodles, "that doesn't count."

"And what about Edward?" Faye asked, "and Ein? You charge them rent?"

Edward and Ein were both too busy gobbling down their noodles to respond.

"Edward earns her keep by utilizing her "hacking" skills," Jet answered, "and Ein is kinda the ship's mascot."

"Now if you want to trade places with Ein and be the Bebop's mascot," Spike added, "I'm sure you could work something out with Jet! I personally think you would look a lot better wearing Ein's collar."

"That's so funny, I forgot to laugh!" Faye replied, nibbling at her noodles.

"So, how about it, Faye?" Jet said, "you have the Woulans from all your bounties or not? Cause we sure could use some cash right about now!"

"Well, I, uh," Faye stammered.

"You're right, Jet! She doesn't have it!" Spike commented.

"How'd you loose it Faye, gambling?" Jet inquired.

"It wasn't my fault," Faye explained, "that horse was supposed to be a favorite to win!"

"Of course," Jet said, "but the fact is, you still owe rent!"

"You guys are prejudiced against me," Faye cried, "its because I'm a woman isn't it?"

"No," Spike answered, "its because you're old!"

"Old?" Faye replied, "I'm only 23!"

"Only in cryogenic years," Spike stated, "weren't you, like, born way back in another century, or something?"

"Faye-Faye looks good for her age!" Edward said, placing the now empty noodle bowl on her head!

Faye's eyes teared up, as she dashed out of the lounge and headed towards her bedroom.

"Oh-Oh! Faye- Faye's feelings are hurt-hurt!" Edward said.

"Don't you think you pushed her a little too far this time, Spike?" Jet asked.

"Hey," Spike replied, "you're the one bringing up about her having to pay the rent!"

"Yeah, but you knew I was just teasing," Jet said, "besides, you know better than to talk to a woman about their age! No matter how old they are."

"Then you go tell her you were just teasing." Spike replied.

Meanwhile, Faye locked herself in her room. She let the tears flow. She cried like she never had before. At least what she could remember.

"I need to get out of here," she mumbled to herself, "I don't need to take any more of this crap from any of them! They don't appreciate what they have with me hanging around. I pull my weight around here. I've helped them catch enough bounties to pay the rent for years. I just need to go out on my own. I can do it. I know I can!"

Faye lay in her bed and just stared at the ceiling.

'Why do I hang around here, anyway?' she lamented, 'its sure not for the money. And its sure not for the appreciation that I never receive. Or the respect I deserve but never get.

I guess its because up until now, I did get to stay here rent free and get free food. If what Jet serves can be called food!'

Faye sat up on the edge of the bed and wiped away her tears.

'But why do I really stay?' she wondered, 'why?'

Then she suddenly realized the answer to her question.

"Its because I have no where else to go," she said to herself, "any friends, I may have had, are now long gone and I definitely have no family left!

Love 'em or hate 'em, Spike, Jet, Edward, and Ein, are all I have. My only friends and the closest thing to a family I've got!

I guess if Jet needs me to pay rent, I'll have to find a way."

Just then there was a soft knock at her door.

"What do ya want?" Faye tried to sound as angry as she could.

"Faye!" she heard Jet's muffled voice say, "could we come in and talk to you for a moment?"

Faye unlocked and opened the door. Jet, Spike, Edward, and Ein, came walking in.

Faye's room was now pretty crowded. Ein yawned.

"Well," Faye said, "what is it you want? Your rent? I plan to go out tonight and follow up on a lead I had on another bounty, okay? If I can nab him, I'll pay you the entire reward."

"Uh, Faye, about that rent," Jet began.

"Yes?" Faye suspiciously said.

"He was just joking," Spike said.

"Joking?" Faye replied.

"Yeah," Jet grinned, "you know me, always the joker!"

"Yeah, well, you're a joker all right," Faye said, "in more ways than one!"

"And Spike has something to say too," Jet added, nudging Spike in the ribs, "don't you Spike?"

"Uh, yeah," Spike replied, "I like what you've done to your room!"

"Spike!" Jet sternly said.

"Yeah, okay," Spike stammered, "hey, I'm sorry about the crack I made about your age. You still look pretty hot for a chick almost a century or so old!"

"Spike!" Jet scolded.

"Yeah, okay. I apologize," Spike concluded.

"So, I don't have to pay any rent?" Faye wondered.

"Nope," Jet answered, "it was all a joke!"

"Well, okay," Faye replied.

"So, we cool then?" Jet asked.

Faye nodded, "Yeah, we cool!"

"Then let's all go back and finish our noodles, okay?" Jet said, "then maybe you could tell us more about that bounty you were thinking about going out to get tonight!"

Faye nodded, as they all began to file out of her room.

"So Faye-Faye not sad-sad, anymore?" Edward asked, balancing herself on one foot.

"No, Edward," Faye replied, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes, "I'm not sad-sad anymore."

"Well, good," Edward said, "cause Spike-Spike, Jet-Jet, Ed-Ed, and Ein would be so sad-sad, if you left. Right, Ein?"

"Woof!" Ein replied.

"Because, we all love-love-you-you!" Edward said, grinning.

Faye smiled.

'Yeah,' Faye thought to herself, 'I'd never ever tell any of you this, but I love-love all you guys-guys too!'


End file.
